In the early days, these relationships were as simple as two men regarding themselves as an item.
In the early 1970s, feminists and gay liberationists asked their followers to think about how to liberate their own needs from the constraints of family, and experiment with alternative forms of intimate relationships, very different to the idea of nuclear family: heterosexual married parents with biological children. One aspect of same-sex marriage that could confuse older gay men, and possibly also lesbians, is that it is at odds with beliefs they might have formed when they were young.
We must ensure that same-sex marriage should it be legalised does not further sideline their experiences. It is vital that we listen to their perspectives, because older gay men are an already marginalised group, experiencing greater financial and social insecurity than younger men. I suspect this is because they do not want to be accused of betraying their own kind or exhibiting “internalised homophobia”, which for decades has been the accusation hurled at gay people who do not conform to the prescribed norms of the sub-culture. These older men have largely remained silent in the current same-sex marriage debate. While these results may not apply directly to Australia in 2017, they are indicative of a generational divide between young and old gay men. Most of the men over 50 were dubious, if not opposed, to gay marriage, while most of those under 30 were supportive. In 2013, I interviewed a small international sample of men as part of my research on sexuality and ageing. We know that generally older Australians are less supportive of same-sex marriage. He is typical of many older gay men who are bemused by the younger generation’s desire for marriage, reflecting the radically different experiences of those who grew up in far more restrictive and intolerant decades.
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